>>>Mood |x| Stressed/Worried
>>>Music |x| Matchbook Romance - Tiger Lily
>>>Wearing |x| Jeans, Cat in the Hat Shirt
>>>Eating |x| Nothing
>>>Drinking |x| Pepsi
>>>Talking to |x| no one
>>>Thinking |x| nothing...im all empty
>>>Feeling |x| Cold...
>>>MSN Name |x| (W)xFåÐëÐxÅwåýx (W) (8)I'm not |*|oh-fucking-kay|*|(8) (U)...i walk this empty street...on the boulevard of *broken* dreams...(U)
>>>Quote |x| Merry fucking christmas now leave me the fuck alone until next year...hoe hoe hoe.
hmmms, lets see my puppets. my non-existant invisible puppets.
depression - actually its at an all time low. ive been feeling so much better its crazy. i havent had just a complete down day in a while. maybe for about an hour friday at the dance, but other than that. no down time. all is good. my mom has been watching me like a hawk to make sure im taking all my meds. they seem to be helping for the most part. i guess...
eating - oh yah babii. lol. three weeks i lost three pounds. lmao. its a start tho. im down to 132. still disgusted with myself for letting me get this big again. but we're working on it again at least. my goal is 107 still!! mwahahaha. i will get there whether it kills me or not...
cutting - 12 days!!! omg yay!!! im so happy again. i cant believe how well im doing with all of it. *big smiles*. my new goal is 14 days. then 16. after that i really dont care because i have a new accomplishment!! yay, i cant get over it. i dont want to do it. i need to completly stop it and get it outta my head. go away. bad thoughts. what sucks about it, is i have no one to tell but this journal. hope thinks ive gone three weeks, and krissy thinks ive gone 6 months. so its no fun anymore. and jocelyne encourages cutting, so shes not good. but whatever. ill have my own little happy celebration. =D.
stress- its at an alltime high. but thats part of whats keeping me depression and si free. when im busy till 6 or 7, even 9 sometimes every night, i come home all gross and sweaty and tired. end up crashing, and not getting a chance to even think. its good. i like to keep busy. makes me feel better about myself. =D. im actually showing school spirit this year too. three school teams. wowie. its a new record. considering last year i was on none, and pretended i didnt attend school, lol.
but since this is my depression journal, and im not depressed. im gonna head out. no ones on anyways. and dan said he was gonna call me around 10-10.30ish. so im gonna go wait by my phone. lol. im outs then
the end...
×Hates×
depression, cutting, ed's, essays, choir interns, hilary duff, liars, cheating boys, smoking, aim, school, basketball coaches, seafood.
×Playlist×
10/141 songs
smile empty soul - with this knife
three days grace - wake up
matchbook romance - tiger lily
dead celebrity status - we fall
jack off jill - strawberry gashes
greenday - boulevard of broken dreams
good charlotte - meet my maker
linkin park - carousel
smile empty soul - bottom of a bottle
good charlotte - murder